To be like Leah.

I had a moment in teaching a bible study tonight where a revelation just hit me. My notes were in front of me and my thoughts began to ramble until God just began to speak. To see the smiles and the revelation on my girls faces made my night. God was there with me and no matter how much I prepared, I came to the realization that He uses us, imperfect human beings, to bring forth His message.
 Simply, by His grace.

We’ve been studying women of faith in the bible. The more that I’ve studied these stories, I’m blown away by how God used each woman for a specific purpose in mind. 
Leah was described as a “woman with weak eyes” or “delicate, tender-eyed” in other translations. 
Basically, Leah was not very attractive and was nothing in comparison to her ever so beautiful sister, Rachel. 
As the story goes, Leah was unloved by Jacob and tried so hard to feel accepted by her husband. She continually faced rejection and disappointment. And, when God opened her womb, she named her son Reuben for she believed that surely her husband would now love her. There was a similar case with her next three sons and then, with her fourth son, there was suddenly a change in her heart. 

Revelation.
She named him Judah as she said, “For now, I will praise the LORD.” 
Leah came to the realization that her husband’s love or family’s approval was not going to give her the joy that she longed for. Her value and worth was found in the LORD. 
Truly. So beautiful. A woman who society and man would just pass on by had suddenly become a God-fearing woman who arrived at a place where she decided to keep her faith and press forward towards her Heavenly Father’s promise for her life.

And, what a legacy she left. The bloodline of Jesus was not found in Jacob and Rachel, but rather, it is found in Jacob and Leah. God specifically chose Leah to carry on the covenant promise that was given to Abraham. I just think that is amazing. If Leah had given up, then we would have never been able to read the story about the power of a woman’s sustained faith. Through every storm, God is fighting for His children. Even when it seems that He has not answered our prayers, He is there. And, the answer may not be what we wanted to hear, but He is there and He has a plan to bring honor and glory to His name-to leave behind a legacy. 
One of my girls said, “It is all just one story.”
Yes. That is exactly what the Bible is. 

We are a part of that story today. The legacy and covenant that was given to Abraham and then carried to Jesus, where the new covenant could be established through the cross, is absolutely breathtaking. 

To be like Leah. To fear the LORD, instead of society’s view on beauty, value and worth. 
Leah didn’t fit a certain mold, yet God chose her. Leah tried to first find her fulfillment in being accepted by a world around her, when all along, she had already been accepted by her King. 
Leah kept her faith and realized that her battle might be something that she would have to fight with for the rest of her life, but she didn’t give up. 
God never left her. He sustained her through the roughest waters of life.

I don’t know what you are going through, but I was comforted in reading Leah’s story. 
We don’t have it all figured out, but God is teaching us along the way. The bloodline of Jesus is found through Leah, so that the new covenant could be established. 
Through Jesus, we are whole and are of infinite worth to Him. Leah is of infinite worth and is seen by God as a woman of great strength and perseverance. It is 
truly beautiful and breathtaking to think that God is using each of us for the same greater purpose that He used Leah for.

God's Watch.

It is amazing how one can look back and see how everything has changed in such a matter of time. God has been challenging me, stretching me and ultimately, molding me into His image.

If I had to sum up in one word what God has been doing in me this past semester, I would simply say Faith.
For some reason, throughout this semester, I've been questioning my future like never before, but I guess that is because it's Sophomore year and I am fully emerged within my major. Is Journalism the path I'm supposed to take? Will I still be in So Cal after I graduate? What am I supposed to do this summer? What is my calling? I know that I'm called to ministry, but how does that look with being in school as a Journalism major. What about my personal life?

And, through all the questions, God's been patient with me, continually pouring out His grace and saying, my dear, I have your entire future in My hands. Don't be afraid.

He's calmed the distracting thoughts and has reminded me that I've been chosen. Again, He tells me not to be afraid and that if I have complete faith in Him, then there is no fear.

We have nothing if not belief.

That is the foundation of living out my life. For God has placed me at APU for specific reasons. I am in this season of my life to learn and grow & ultimately, to draw into a deeper intimacy with Him. My calling is to live out His purpose for my life is not my own. And, what a beautiful revelation that is. God's love is so authentic and real.

The future is in God's hands and His watch is different from the one that is on my wrist. When I look at the hand on my watch, I can smile because I know that this watch is a temporal reminder to Just Be.

I want to be present wherever I am. I want to learn and grow intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. And, every day, God is doing just that within my life. He reminds me to live in the seconds and not the weeks. He reminds me that His love is so deep for me and that His blood has covered all. He reminds me that every day, He is calling me to His ministry.

                            "God doesn't want something from us. He simply wants us." -C.S. Lewis

I've made so many wonderful friends here at APU and at a church that I've been so blessed to be a part of. And, the thought of having to move away after college isn't a thought that I'm very fond of. However, God looks at me and reminds me to simply just be. A few years a go, I was uncertain as I realized I don't know where God is going to take me as I head off to college. And, I laugh, when I realize how much I worried, for God had my future in His hands all along and I've ended up right where He wants me, so that I could grow and learn as He trains me for each season of life that He will continually call me to.

This comes through obedience. And, obedience comes from being in intimacy with Him. A relationship with Jesus is the most wonderful and beautiful thing in all the earth. Through intimacy, you see His scars up close and you deeply feel and recognize the love that He has for you. It's sometimes unreal when I come to the realization of how much He truly loves me. And, every day, I continue to fall more in love with Him. Even through my flaws, tribulations and valleys, I'm thankful. For in those times, He is teaching me. It is for a greater purpose that oftentimes, I can't even begin to see. When you look at God's watch, you begin to see that God's plan is far greater than any of your own. He functions in a different time zone and sees far beyond what we can see. And, for that, I feel so much freedom and joy.

I'm truly blessed. For now, I will simply, just be and recognize that this is a season of my life in which I don't want the seconds to escape my watch.

Expressed Three Ways.

There is something about owning an item of clothing that can be worn many different ways. And, mine happens to be my new $12 skirt from Forever 21. I found this rare gem mixed between a pile of clearance items. Noticing that it was an XS, I decided to add it to my pile of fitting room clothes anyways. It was wishful thinking. And, somehow, it fit.

This brown suede skirt can be worn so many ways. In the past couple weeks, I have worn it three different ways that give completely different looks.

I love oversized shirts. This is why I bought this denim shirt in a size M. No, actually, it was the only one left on the rack and I thought I just had to buy it. Well, I was right. Because, I'm finding new ways to wear it all the time. 

Everything: Forever 21
By the way, my favorite section to shop at For.21 is the H81 section. This is where you'l find many vintage finds. It is as close to shopping in a thrift store as I can get since moving to the desert for the summer. I still haven't found a thrift store here yet. Luckily, I'll be heading back to college in a month. Then, I'll get to take delight in thrift store shopping again.

Belts. A perfect accessory item. Also, they can prove to be quite slendering. 

Floral Blouses. This piece is beautiful. I bought it at Forever 21 because I loved the design. However, I'm pretty sure I've only worn it twice in the last year. This is because I bought it in a larger size as again it was the only one left on the rack.
I solved the problem with my high- waisted suede skirt and a large brown belt. 

For a more simple look, I went with a T shirt, white scarf and skinny belt from Urban Outfitters. 

Here's the length on the skirt. It falls right at the knee. Oh, and look, here's another way I wore it.
Scarf: Kohls. Shirt and Headband: For.21

It is more than just nutrition.

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies." I Corinthians 6:19-20

"Getting healthy or keeping fit is a daily work in progress. It's not something we can do one time and then forget about it. Kind of like our faith, it is a daily undertaking. Constantly seeking to be the hands and feet of Jesus...Perhaps our personal fitness journey is to remind us that God's work takes time" (Devotional).

When I was a Senior in high school, I suddenly became a health freak. I decided that I wouldn't eat fast food, soda or chips. Cutting those things out of my diet, due to running Cross Country, resulted in a new journey for my life and future career. I grew up in a healthy household, but as I began to learn more, I began to realize that there was so much more that I was uneducated about. So, I began to do research and educate myself on nutrition. And, I learned a lot. But, there is still so much more for me to learn. This is why I grow in anticipation for this next school year as I will begin my courses for my Minor in Nutrition at Azusa Pacific University.

My freshman year of college had its ups and downs with trying to maintain a healthy diet. It was difficult to stay fit when I was drowning in homework and stress. So, I started training for a half marathon and this kept me disciplined and focused. I knew not only did I have to exercise, but if I didn't, I would let my entire family down come race day. But, most importantly, I would let myself down. In February, I completed my first half marathon in Huntington Beach, California. The best advice I have for anyone who is trying to get fit is to do something that you enjoy. If running is not your cup of tea, try something else like rowing, biking, swimming, playing basketball with your kids, hiking...the list goes on and on. But, I guarantee that there is something for everyone out there.

My race had come and gone and my studies continued to increase during my second semester of college. I was getting 4-5 hours of sleep a night, eating foods that weren't the best for you and stopped exercising because I didn't have the time. Yes, I ran two miles about twice a week, but that wasn't cutting it. The combination of lack of sleep, junk food, and lack of exercise resulted in a slight gain in weight and feeling internally sick. I felt like I was destroying what God had given me.

In the past couple months, I have come to the realization that my body is a gift from God and the last thing I want to do is destroy it. In everything we do, we must do what brings glory to God. Furthermore, when we go to the gym and eat healthy, it needs to be for the right reasons. I have a new outlook on life and how I approach fitness. I am getting fit not only so I feel comfortable in my own skin, but so I can attribute everything to God and glorify Him through my hard work and dedication.

Trust me, the hardest part is getting started. The first few days at the gym are difficult, but once you get in that routine of working out and eating healthier options, it will become a part of your lifestyle in which you will thoroughly enjoy what you are doing and furthermore, you will have a testimony. Yes, getting fit for the Kingdom of God is a testimony in itself. It takes time, just as God's work takes time within each of our spiritual lives.

Recently, I was asked if I could share a few of my tips with making a healthier lifestyle change. I would gladly like to share with you a few tips that go a long ways.

First, when it comes to working out, sign up for a race or set goals so that you have something that you are striving towards. As with everything, it will take baby steps, so don't become discouraged along the way. Instead, focus your eyes on the goal and ultimately, the eternal crown that you will receive for all of your discipline and hard work in life.

Second, when it comes to working out, have an accountability partner. If you have a friend of family member who is holding you accountable, you most likely won't ditch your workout plans. You don't want to be a disappointment. Encourage one another and grow together through this journey.

Now, there are so many things to address when it comes to nutrition. It honestly can be quite overwhelming, but it will be very rewarding. The more you learn, the more natural these lifestyle changes will come about.

I'm sure you have heard that you can't just go cold turkey. This is why so many dieting programs fail people, because many people will deprive themselves of all the foods they love. Eating healthy is all about balance and moderation. It's okay to go out for ice cream on Friday night or to enjoy fresh guacamole with tortilla chips every once in a while.

Just like working out, it takes baby steps. So, I will give you a few pieces of advice that I will hope will help immensely.

According to the doctor, breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Yes, the doctor is absolutely right. When you wake up in the morning, your body has been without food from anywhere to 9-14 hours. Your body needs to be replenished with nutrients that will keep you energized throughout the day. Many people who are on the go in the mornings might find it difficult to eat something besides sugary cereals, but there is a variety of options. Even the so called "healthy" granola is exceedingly high in sugar content, which is why it isn't your best option for breakfast.

Then, what are some quick breakfast foods that will leave you both satisfied, full and energized? There are many, many options, but I will list a few of my favorites. The first is oatmeal with fruit. And, not the oatmeal that comes in packages. Don't even get me started with packaged oatmeal. You might as well eat a spoonful of sugar. Fruit is a great way to make oatmeal a little more sweet naturally. Another great breakfast option is Multi-Grain Toast with all natural peanut butter or almond butter. I emphasize multi-grain. Many people are fooled in to thinking that whole wheat is absolutely great for you, when in fact, it really isn't. Yes, it is a better option than white bread, but you aren't getting any nutrients from whole wheat. Breads that have more nuts and grains like flaxseed in them will provide better health benefits. And, why all natural peanut butter or almond butter? Well, if you have ever looked at peanut butter's ingredients, you will quickly notice that the sugar content and fat content is just as high as a bowl of ice cream.

When it comes to lunch, salads are perfect. First, never use iceberg lettuce as it has no nutiritional value. You might as well just skip the lettuce in that case. Rather, I would suggest spinach, romaine or the spring mix that you can buy at any grocery store. The darker the leaf, the more nutrients it possesses. Second, load the salad with fresh vegetables and a lean protein like chicken, turkey or fish. Lastly, when it comes to dressing, be careful. Many salad dressings are high in fat content and of course once again, sugar. Thus, oil and red wine vinegar is one of my favorite options, alongside, balsamic vinegar.

And, if you aren't a huge salad lover or want other options besides just salads, a few of my favorites are quinoa or couscous with tomatoes, olives, feta cheese and cucumber. Another great source for protein is to sautee onions and then combine it with corn and a variety of beans. Serve over a salad or eat with fresh tomatoes and cheese. There are many other fresh and healthy options, but it would obviously take me the entire year to write on the subject matter. I guess it is a good thing that this is what I want to do with my life- Health and Fitness Journalism.

Please, just try to shy away from all the frozen and microwavable options...unless, it's vegetables. Although, they are still better for you, fresh.

If you want any other tips, look for my articles in the next few years. Just kidding. Well, I hope not. We will see where God takes me in life. I learned long a go that we can make many plans, but God's plan and purpose will always prevail.

Enjoy a wonderful Sunday and lavish in God's relentless love.

Denim and Coffee. Hipster?

I'm convinced that my hot tea or coffee tastes even better when I'm wearing a cozy denim shirt.

This brings us to today's topic.

I love vintage, if you haven't realized yet. 

But, what is vintage?

And what defines a hipster? I feel that term is over used. 

For fun, I thought I would look it up. Prepare to smile or laugh, especially if you, yourself are a hipster or know someone who is a hipster. So, a hipster is supposed to be someone who goes against the trends and culture, but 90% of the students at APU are hipsters. (I'm sure of it.) So, maybe we need a new term. 

According to Google,

1. A hipster shops at thrift stores.

2.  They wear high wasted shorts, skirts, etc.

3. You wear glasses.

4. You wear ironic tops. Ironic? I furthermore read to realize that apparently the term ironic refers to denim, plaids, paisley, or floral prints.

5. As a lady hipster, you wear floral or lace dresses, with most of them looking like they came out of your grandma's closet.

6. A hipster wears hipster shoes. I guess you have to figure that one out for your self. 

7. Accessorize. This includes oversized floral headbands, pins, patterned leggings/tights and random scarfs.

8. A hipster mismatches and layers.

9. A hipster can be put together, but also enjoys messy hair.

So, apparently this is what a hipster looks like. I had a good laugh.

Do I shop at thrift shops? Yes. Do I wear high wasted skirts? Yes. Do I wear style glasses? Yes. Do I enjoy floral prints and quirky shirts? Of course. Floral and lace dresses? Why, yes. Hipster shoes? I don't know what defines hipster shoes, that's why I can't help but laugh, but I wear oxfords. That's all. Do I accessorize with headbands and scarfs? Every day. Mismatch and layer? Cardigans and mismatched scarfs for the win. Messy hair? I sport messy buns.

Apparently, Google also has tips for youngsters who want to become a hipster. Seriously? This might be the best article I have ever read in my life. I didn't even know people look this up on Google.

I just have to share a few of these with you from the article I read.

1. A female hipster loves to use Blogspot. Well, I guess every person that blogs is now a hipster? Oh, wait. The sentence didn't stop there. It continued to state that a female hipster loves tumblr and instagram. Specifically,  their Instagram feed has a soft, vintage feel. 

Let's stream through some of my photos...

Guilty.

Google really just makes it even better. According to Google, Hipsters buy apple products, play a musical instrument and form their own bands, enjoy geeky subjects and listen to independent music. They love Whole Foods and spend a good amount of time in  coffee shoppes. Photography and writing: they like those things too. Let's just say the list goes on and on. 

And the article concludes by saying to prepare for the criticism you will receive as a hipster. Well, I don't think Google knows what it is talking about. 

Embrace who you are and go have a cup of coffee with the other 1 billion hipsters.

I know I will.

And remember,

Steadfast Faith.

The last couple nights I have been wanting to blog greatly. I guess I'm struggling with how to get my thoughts out on paper, or in this case, a screen for the entire world to read.

As followers of Christ, we all go through suffering. We just experience different types of suffering. Yet, Paul writes of the hope that we have through our sufferings. He writes that we should expect the fact that as Christians, we are suffering servants...to the world, we are seen as desperate, helpless, wrecked and finished. Yet, to God, we are seen as hopeful, strong, joyful and fruitful through our perseverance and steadfast faith. Through Christ, we have the eternal crown of glory to hold onto, even through our darkest hours.

1 Peter 5:9-10 states "Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same suffering are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you."

Our sufferings form us into the people we were created to be. If it wasn't for our sufferings, we wouldn't understand how great the Father's love is for us. Suffering has only produced endurance within me and has made me realize how strong I truly am through Christ. It is such a beautiful promise and such an amazing hope to know that we suffer to receive the eternal crown of glory.

I have been through a lot, but it's nothing compared to what God did for me. He suffered so that I as His suffering servant would no longer have to suffer. Today, I can rejoice. Today, I have victory. Today, I have been made new.

There is a new song in my heart. Faith is the most important aspect of Christianity. For us to receive the victory, we have to first believe that we have the victory. Now, we sometimes think that is easier said than done. Listen, all who are weary, come to the Father. Jesus declares in Mark 9:23 that "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes."

I can't help but smile after reading that verse. I believe that promise for my life and trust Him entirely. His plan has proved time and time again that it is only forming me into the daughter that He wants me to be. I rejoice in my sufferings, because I know that through perseverance, it will only create me to be a stronger individual and a greater disciple to tell all what the Lord has done for me.

The fact that I am able to write such words as these is due to the work of God. This is a small picture of His grace, because He kept me and delivered me. He brought me out of many sufferings so that I could tell many people what God has done for me. A few years a go, this blog post could not have been written. So, to the one who is feeling discouraged in times of trial, press on. God is going to do an amazing work in you and will give you an INDIVIDUAL TESTIMONY that will allow you to only further the Kingdom of God.

Keep the faith and don't lose sight of the eternal prize of glory. Smile, because you have a Father who loves you despite the battlefields that you have been on. His patience and persistence is a Father's love that can't even be put into words. "For when I am weak, then I am strong." Through God alone, we don't have to let the sufferings of the world destroy us, because we already have claimed our victory and can rejoice in the eternal prize, rather than the temporal. I am amazed at what a mighty God we serve. When you come out of the battle, I promise that you will be amazed at what God has done in your life. One can only come out stronger and closer to God through sufferings and great trial. It begins with faith and our acceptance of His grace.

"So, we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:18

Authenticity through Christ.

Apostolic Authenticity.

As an Apostolic Pentecostal young lady, I get asked many questions. There are so many questions that used to make me uncomfortable. Now, I am able to answer any questions with a smile, because I have discovered who I am in Christ. My outward appearance doesn't define me whatsoever, but it is the innermost part of my heart. 

What makes me want to stand out is not that I choose to dress a certain way, but rather, I want to stand out as someone who has chosen to give up her life for the Kingdom of God. As disciples of Christ, we are made to leave behind our old ways and not only listen to the instructions given by God, but to actively live out those instructions and furthermore go forth and make more disciples. It is a complete act of surrender.

When I was a little girl, wearing only skirts and not cutting my hair was a religious affiliation to me. I didn't quite understand everything that I was being taught. 

My parents divorced and I moved into a home that had no dress regulations. I wasn't going to church and my friends at school were encouraging me to try new things. Needless to say, I was a thirteen year old girl who didn't know who I was. The things of the world weren't satisfying me. There was a void in my heart and it was more than the fact that I was living in a broken home.

Yet, I soon discovered God's grace and began to establish my own beliefs. I have been completely changed from the person I was just a few short years a go. Now, I am so confident in my skin as I get ready to turn nineteen in just a few weeks. 

1 Corinthians 11:14-15 states, "Does not even nature itself teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a dishonor to him? But if a woman has long hair, it is a glory to her; for her hair is given to her for a covering." 

The sole reason why I don't cut my hair is because it is my glory unto God. When people ask why I have long hair, I reply that it is a part of using something natural as an act of praise unto God. It separates me from man, because I believe that while woman was created for man, a woman also has a very powerful call in ministry that can be used separately from man. But, don't get me wrong. I also believe that man and woman can be used in even more powerful ways when the two are together. This is a subject that I could write an entire different blog post on. 

Furthermore, the Bible tells us that in everything we do, do it to glorify God. EVERYTHING. 

"Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." 

I Corinthians 6:19-20

It is for this very reason that I dress modestly, and my definition of modesty may be different from many other people, but I dress the way I do because just as the Word of God states, I believe that our bodies are a temple of God. 

When I wear skirts, I'm not only dressing in the way that I believe God intended for females to dress, as woman should be set apart from man physically speaking, but I furthermore dress the way that I do to receive respect from men and those around me. I want to honor God with my body and live in such a way that will continue to be so once I'm married.

God created woman for man. I want a man to see me for my authenticity, rather than anything else. When someone asked me what I look for in a guy, I replied with a simple answer. 

I want a guy who loves God more than me. When I say this, I say it with true genuineness, because to be honest, I can't help but laugh a little. It might take a lot for someone to capture my heart, because I'm so deeply in love with Jesus. I'm so deeply in love with Him and it is for this very reason that I embrace my apostolic authenticity.