If I had to sum up in one word what God has been doing in me this past semester, I would simply say Faith.
For some reason, throughout this semester, I've been questioning my future like never before, but I guess that is because it's Sophomore year and I am fully emerged within my major. Is Journalism the path I'm supposed to take? Will I still be in So Cal after I graduate? What am I supposed to do this summer? What is my calling? I know that I'm called to ministry, but how does that look with being in school as a Journalism major. What about my personal life?
And, through all the questions, God's been patient with me, continually pouring out His grace and saying, my dear, I have your entire future in My hands. Don't be afraid.
He's calmed the distracting thoughts and has reminded me that I've been chosen. Again, He tells me not to be afraid and that if I have complete faith in Him, then there is no fear.
We have nothing if not belief.
That is the foundation of living out my life. For God has placed me at APU for specific reasons. I am in this season of my life to learn and grow & ultimately, to draw into a deeper intimacy with Him. My calling is to live out His purpose for my life is not my own. And, what a beautiful revelation that is. God's love is so authentic and real.
The future is in God's hands and His watch is different from the one that is on my wrist. When I look at the hand on my watch, I can smile because I know that this watch is a temporal reminder to Just Be.
I want to be present wherever I am. I want to learn and grow intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. And, every day, God is doing just that within my life. He reminds me to live in the seconds and not the weeks. He reminds me that His love is so deep for me and that His blood has covered all. He reminds me that every day, He is calling me to His ministry.
"God doesn't want something from us. He simply wants us." -C.S. Lewis
I've made so many wonderful friends here at APU and at a church that I've been so blessed to be a part of. And, the thought of having to move away after college isn't a thought that I'm very fond of. However, God looks at me and reminds me to simply just be. A few years a go, I was uncertain as I realized I don't know where God is going to take me as I head off to college. And, I laugh, when I realize how much I worried, for God had my future in His hands all along and I've ended up right where He wants me, so that I could grow and learn as He trains me for each season of life that He will continually call me to.
This comes through obedience. And, obedience comes from being in intimacy with Him. A relationship with Jesus is the most wonderful and beautiful thing in all the earth. Through intimacy, you see His scars up close and you deeply feel and recognize the love that He has for you. It's sometimes unreal when I come to the realization of how much He truly loves me. And, every day, I continue to fall more in love with Him. Even through my flaws, tribulations and valleys, I'm thankful. For in those times, He is teaching me. It is for a greater purpose that oftentimes, I can't even begin to see. When you look at God's watch, you begin to see that God's plan is far greater than any of your own. He functions in a different time zone and sees far beyond what we can see. And, for that, I feel so much freedom and joy.
I'm truly blessed. For now, I will simply, just be and recognize that this is a season of my life in which I don't want the seconds to escape my watch.
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